Nancy’s family has received numerous letters from her friends. Some were from close friends and others from more casual ones. But all the letters highlighted the same theme. Nancy was an amazing friend. She was a friend who touched many lives in incredible ways. The depth and intensity of emotion that was conveyed in those letters is truly remarkable. What was it that made Nancy such a good friend? Was Nancy always giving away her chocolate?

What is the true meaning of friendship?

The classic example of true friendship is found in the Torah: the friendship of David and Yonatan.

King Shaul had a brilliant and honorable son named Yonatan. Yonatan was not only the king’s son, but also a warrior in his own right. Doubtless, he had his eye on the throne. It was only natural for Yonatan to see himself as a worthy and fitting successor to his father. Yonatan would certainly do his utmost to protect his rightful position as heir to the king.

Everything seemed to be proceeding smoothly for Yonatan’s ambitions, when young David suddenly entered the picture. Poet, musician, philosopher, and warrior, David was a fascinating personality. He completely won over the heart of King Shaul, to the point where Shaul “loved him greatly” (Samuel I, 16:21). David was not a member of the royal family. He was an outsider who posed a grave threat to Yonatan’s claim to the throne. Self-preservation should have prompted Yonatan to plot against David, keeping him far away from his father. At the very least, a smear campaign should have been waged. Instead, what was Yonatan’s reaction to this potential nemesis?

“The soul of Yonatan was knit with the soul of David, and Yonatan loved him as his own soul” (Samuel I, 18:1).

“Then Yonatan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his own soul” (Samuel I, 18:3).

The Malbim states that a covenant is usually entered into out of fear—as was the case with Avimelech’s covenant with Avraham and Yitzchok. Not so here. Yonatan made a covenant with David out of love. “And Yonatan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments and even his sword, and his bow and his girdle” (Samuel I, 18:4). The Malbim goes on to explain that Yonatan gave David his clothing to show that he truly wanted David to rule instead of him. When Shaul’s heart turned against David, the king attempted to sway Yonatan into joining his pursuit of David to the death. Said Shaul, “For as long as [David] the son of Yishai lives on the ground, you [Yonatan] shall not be established, or your kingdom” (Samuel I, 20:31). “And Shaul spoke to Yonatan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David. But Yonatan the son of Shaul delighted much in David.” (Samuel I, 19:1) The Metzudat David interprets the words, “delighted much in David,” as meaning that Yonatan only wanted what was good for David. He wanted his friend to succeed.

Yonatan’s reaction to David’s intrusion on his own seemingly smooth path to the throne was not hostility. It was not political warfare or self-serving strategies to oust the newcomer. On the contrary, Yonatan did everything in his power to protect David from his father. “And he [Yonatan] said to him [David], ‘Fear not; for the hand of Shaul my father shall not find you; and you shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you . . .’ And the two made a covenant before the L-rd” (Samuel I, 23:17–18).